#we gotta stay home
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Apologies, Iām justifiably livid and will be forā¦ who knows how long.
Before I can find a way to put that to good use, hereās an equally angry sketch.
Rage against the dying of the light.
#sketchbook#work in progress#traditional art#common loon#Gavia immer#avian#wings#yes itās been a week and the rage will burn on#feels like Iāve been gaslit my whole life about human nature in this country#there arenāt words I can reasonably share but use your imagination#anyway donāt forget to punch a fascist#since we are incapable of learning from ANYTHING#my home state will forever be dead to me so Iām grateful to live in MN#good luck out there we gotta show up for each other#throws democracy in trash because I guess we werenāt wanting it? the fuck?#donāt tell me to stay calm rage is my element#magats get fucked my art isnāt for you
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@ the retrospring anon who asked for trinity soul characters ā¦. I hope u know what kind of spiral youāve sent me on
#persona trinity soul#persona 5#goro akechi#shin kanzato#uncle Adachi AU#standing in line to get snacks so#here we go#basically shin was sent to stay with his aunt (Yosukeās mom) by akechi post shinās parents death#this is during Akechiās prince detective stunt#heās four years older than shin#shin is kind of still just. traumatized about the whole thing and akechi is promising himself that heāll be better than Adachi and not#abandon shin completely#but he does inevitably#so anyway. he has shin call him uncle bc he kinda hates cousin since they have such a wide network of them#but ofc shin is like āI gotta get back to Ryo š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗā so he leaves Niko and yosk and Ted to go back home to Tokyo
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As much as I joke, I should note that I don't actually see Bill as a sweet little innocent baby who couldn't do no harm.
It's hard to explain but: Do I still feel bad that I now know he didn't intend to destroy his dimension and carries that grief, and that truly he's a desperate person trying to find him and his friends a home to stay in so they don't disintegrate when the edge of the world approaches them? Yeah. Does that mean id be totally fine if he had taken over earth and turned it into the nightmare realm? HELL NO! Get that dorito bastard away from my dirt!!!
Do I feel bad that he's suffering in theraprism? Kinda, yeah. Do I find it hilarious that he's suffering in theraprism. Absolutely. Is that a question? That's fucking awesome. These coexist simultaneously in my mind.
#gravity falls#bill cipher#book of bill#book of bill spoilers#its hard to say he got what he deserved because#he was kinda a victim of circumstance?#like I wanna say āhe didn't have to try and show his dimension his visionsā#but as someone who relates to characters who desperately feel they have to prove the world they see to others#i cant say his actions are *entire* selfish and that hes awful for that#and then from that moment on hes on the run#looking at it that way you can see all the justifications he made to himself#āif im being chased by the law anyway why not break a few more interdimentional laws?ā#āwell if we stay here were gonna die so i might as well steal the home of SOME dimension right?ā#āim just a guy trying to survive out here. i gotta make a living somehowā#yet still. knowing hes kinda a victim of circumstances he still chose to be cruel#i still judge him for destroying what never belonged to him in a desperate attempt for attention and control#which is kinda why a second chance and therapy is great for him#finally he wont have those circumstances and hes being forced to learn from his actions and change#...still hilarious though HJRBDJJYG#hes so upset in therapy its so funny omg
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pov itās the night of December 2nd 2013 and youāve just burst into your grandsons room to pick him up so heās not down there when you blow up the world the guy who ruined your life is from because you wouldnāt be able to live with yourself if you let him stay down there with everyone else which is Really fucking weird because you thought even coming back here in the first place meant giving up forever on anything for the rest of your life but this goddamn kid stops you from blowing up the planet and now youāre basically permanently fucked because now youāre just gonna have to keep on living and itās because you love him. and tomorrow morning you will be running from alien police with him
#i was going to just post a draft but i wanted something that felt more birthday-ish for The Day#i just think about the pilot a lot. rick thought he was going to just end everything there that night and when he was lying on the ground-#-afterward looking up at morty telling him it was all just a test in his mind heās just like#Ohhhh shit. this is about to be so horrible. and little did he know morty was thinking the same thing#because they saw eachother on that night rick crashed in through the garage and they just looked at eachother#rick had seen other mortys everywhere previously but this was the first time he really Saw Morty#and they both thought#Ohhhh shit#bc they just Knew#rick and morty#rick Sanchez#morty smith#also do you think they just kinda spent the night outside in that place#like when rick passed out at the end of the cold open did morty not wake him up and he eventually fell back asleep#and they just stayed there. lol#probably not based off the fact that morty was sleep deprived in the morning#so he probably woke rick back up and they did some other shit that we never got to see#i like to think they maybe went to a gas station or something and got wrapped up in a little on-planet adventure#and it was super convoluted and dangerous but at a certain hour rick checked his several watches#and was like Oh shit morty w gottfa we gotta get you back home morty.#and he just ended whatever intense life threatening situation they were in immediately#and morty is like Rick WTF why didnāt you do that sooner we were gonna die!!! and rick cant come up with an excuse bc he really just wanted#to spend as much time with morty as possible so he just dodged the question and called him a stupid dumb dumb idiot baby#odiespeak
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TO ME, THATāS CINEMA
#tomgreg#so i've seen this around a lot and ppl have already made points but like holy fuck. hoooly fuck lmao where do i begin#TOM THOUGHT THE ROOM WAS EMPTY FOR UH ... FOR WHAT BITCH??#empty for what. you two just going in there ALONE. what for. strategizing? ok but then why was greg showing you tonight's selection.#even if it was girls it's still sus bc like who tf goes specifically to a room to show that shit.#oh by the way iĀ listened again and tom says first ''why do we have to...'' so GREG asked for the room?#greg asked them to go to an empty room. slut.#anD THEN AFTER SAID ''I WANNA GIVE YOU'' BITCH!!!!!!!!1#are we sure it's girls though...... like does it say later. i'll keep watching but Christ. LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK#how am i supposed to read this other than an affair lmfao and then he says ''go on'' and sends greg off away like a little pet#sick to bastard death of them god#so it's like. greg says can we go somewhere private and tom says why do we have to#greg says i wanna give you... and tom says what do you wanna give me annoyed like#girl we are at work and we are trying to stay alive can't you wait til we are at home for me to clap them cheeks#and then greg says a preview of tonight's selection...Ā of what? could be alcohol could be sexy stuff could be mf. clothes idk#and then they look upĀ like O FUCK the room is in use and it's fucking SH*V and immediately tom is like GO ON and greg#doesn't even stutter or say anything like usual he's just like SORRY and leaves immediately bc he KNOWS he gotta gtfo#sorry i'm just. poetic cinema indeed
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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it š«”
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
#spotatalk#i'm just gonna drop this in the queue I guess?#but I'm writing this on the last day of june so....#whenever this rolls around will be a jumpscare abd a half I guess?#I think honestly I coukd do a full breakdown of the Crew and why they're all expressions of me but like#quick summary is#Reset: Wants approval from people but mostly clings to the past. is afraid of losing his brother and acts on it to bring him back. i#<- I lack that conviction to do whatever you have to to get your way. i worry my brother and I have a weird gap between us we wont repair#Orchid: Uhhh woman. lots of pressure that she had at one time that's now no being pressed but she still tries to live up to it also.#<- I don't like the pressure of being a woman. also gifted-kid who cannot move past the pressures imposed to be 'perfect' and it's screwed#Stereo: Pulled into a situation he doesn't want to be in initially. it's bad for him but he likes the people so he decides to stay#<- I see the good in people. even when they hurt others around me. I was a bystander often and should've left the situations. paralelling.#Monochrome: Afraid. No purpose or preperation in life. soneone offers to guide him and he takes that offer because it's better than home.#<- Kinda self-explanitory but I've got little direction and feel lost a lot of the time. If I'm given a path I usually walk it no hesitation#and... for fun let's do some others!#Haphazard: Cleaning up after others since childhood. he's never really gotten a break and sees any sort of mess as an enemy#-> He's fixing rifts in universes I gotta patch relationships. there's so much conflict and I'm always so overwhelmed by it#Lost: He's got amnesia. no clue where he is. where he's from. who you are. who he is. he'll know when he gets there. he's sure.#-> I've been hsving minor issues with my memory for years. i coukd be forgetful but sometimes it just escapes me and that's spooky#Teddy: Isolated in her universe for years. she self-mutilated until she liked herself. when she finally met people she compulsively lied#-> Much more extreme version of how isolated I sonetines feel. hobbies can't replace human interaction but it's hard#oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care#<- I've got a big heart. i express it often but the sentinent is scoffed off a lot. I get beat down about it and just keep moving forward#Pretender: Knows who he is. however the world doesn't like it much so he acts how they expect him to or isolates away#<- I still present femme when I'm nb/agender. i bend and break to people's perception of me. if I can't solve something I run.#okay I feel more insane than when ai started but these stupid skeletons have helped me through so many mental health problems it's only a#little bit funny š
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time everš
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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i do not like thanksgiving (week)
#1. late november? itās Dark. all the time. pure darkness#also my dad is neurotic for no reason about the electricity bill despite how much money he spends on random other crap#and he will get really nasty with you if you leave a light on for one nanosecond longer than it needs to be on#so like only if youāre in the room which means the house is dark all the time and youāre expected to just walk around like that#even though having a light on at your destination if youāre moving back and forth helps#like sorry i donāt want to feel depressed and sleepy all the time#2. family over means i have to socialize even though i straight up have nothing to say#i think this one is self explanatory i think we all know the feeling of having to perform around relatives and to be friendly#i really do try my best iām not like a hardcore introvert iām just boring and easily bored#if i have nothing to say but i am expected by law to be present at the gathering#i will cope with looking awkward by constantly snacking on whatever food is present#so i just eat like a ton of crackers or whatever over several hours#and i feel like absolute crap#like blehhh wdym peanut m&ms will make your body annoyed at you#3. i canāt cook iāll be so real so i canāt even feel like iām being helpful#i would gladly help out iāll just always need someone to hold my hand and iāll be in the way#so itās better for me to stay away#but then it looks like iām just lazy#or again antisocial#and then that means i gotta do cleanup and dishes#4. going back to the Darkness and sleepiness. all of the above things are bad enough over say christmas#but at least then i can relax bc the semester is over itās a real break#but thanksgiving? man i am still busy. i have to work from home. i am stressed#my instinct is to hibernate and relax bc of the darkness and holiday vibe#however iām not allowed to#but itās hard to be productive#harder still when you have to operate under someone elseās rules#peach rambles
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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haha! bit ill
#bakuspeech#delete later#I definitely don't have a fever my forehead doesn't feel that hot (thermometer shows 38.6 degree c) well#this is a bit of a high fever for a cold I think. so I might be in for the A virus goin around rn#Ive headed it of when my throat started hurting so Im not coughing a lot#and the guideline says stay home until I get worried. and I made my own food today so Im not worried yet lol#but yeah tldr: sick. not a major chance of it getting worse but I'm keepin an eye on it#so uh. wont be talking much for the next week probably! not that I say a lot nowadays lmao#dont worry about me. I do miss drawing tho have to sit out of drawing yet again.... auuuu#cool story I'll tell u guys later. not now tho I gotta lay down probably#okay alright have a good night lads#we strong! we're strong! we chill n we'll get thru this
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š¤ and surely it means nothing that i keep having to field off hyperventilating every time im alone for a week or so. I think im doing great
#Nfjshdhd its so fucked up that panic can try to attack u when ur at work. Hey man i get it but we cant forget where we are or why we're here#In the middle of a shift we got stuff to do. I gotta stay logged into this brain unfortunately or else ill forget how to get home
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Just got here. Tf is happening?
#strawbebies??#halo my love are you okay??#everyone clap i spent the last 4 hours totally offline š <- was playing sims#(game is going well in case you're wondering)#(yes i am still building jorgen and mona's house. it took me a while to get everything exactly right)#(we are decorating now FINALLY)#it's been 4 days yes i know. listen. i take this seriously#no they are not my active family. they are simply my Sims's besties#yes im aware i will spend very little time inside their house. so what. i want my friends to have pretty and luxurious homes#the helvigs are living GOOD. got them a little inside pool and all#because why not#it pains me to make it all celebrity white minimalism but i gotta stay true to them.#the Scandinavian architecture does make it a lot better. nice warm wood accents and floors to make it less sterile#still. i gave them the most obnoxious wood centre table for the main living room and put exactly one (1) single flower there#i don't mind minimalism but this is too much uhg. i hate how vogue catalog this is turning out#ngl i am very seriously considering getting a minor only degree in interior design. like. I'm halfway there already#ANYWAYS. how is everyone? all we are alive still? facing the horrors? being brave?#darya plays sims
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asklepios au setting is so historically inaccurate its like "imagine ancient greece but every single recorded poem and hymn is alive and known at the same time by everyone and also joseph lister is there"
#i heard something abt the iliad having like thousands of years old boars tusk helmets next to new metal weapons and obviously the story got#embellished over time#but its just one guy trying to add easter eggs only this guy will enjoy#also. i just. we gotta have joseph lister#we have joseph lister at home and its pond water with a goddess inside#i dont know if i can study archaeology and geography for this au#ive considered#but i might stay flying closer to the sea atp#asklepios au#soup talk
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dear internet stop throwing pictures of beautifully toasted bagels slathered in cream cheese at me i don't have a toaster i don't have room in my teeny kitchenette for a toaster a toaster is a luxury here in japan as are bagels as is cream cheese
bagel places here that ask me "do you want that heated up" make me want to cry tears of joy even though all they mean is they're gonna stick the bagel in the microwave for ten seconds so it's slightly warm-ish but not enough to crisp up or melt the cream cheese a little
#food#closest bagel place to me has two options blueberry bagel or white choco chip#its fortunate that i love blueberry but anyway that shows the general mindset towards bagels here they're sweet snacks more or less#hard to find everything bagel or onion bagel etc#i havent been home since before covid but my primary reason for wanting to is i neeeed a nyc bagel#and real mac n cheese and real grilled cheese#and pasta that isnt spaghetti with something something cream sauce#oh and i really miss american bbq which means it sucks that i'll be going home in winter bahahaha#never expected to stay here as long as i have but otoh food cravings aside what real motivation do i have to live in the us#obvs my parents and i do want to see them and wish we could live close#but as for life in the us itself... living here is so far a lot easier in a multitude of ways#the biggest downside is my being a foreigner. gotta reapply for that visa every few years#and even though i speak japanese every day the business-style japanese of workplaces is totally different so im limited in terms of jobs#aaaand when im home in the us i have the opposite problem... i miss japan and japanese food instead xP#why cant i teleport that'd solve everything#fizz's life#why are people reblogging this??? X'D
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...
#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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would you ever consider continuing that timebomb hanahaki fic or just writing more timebomb in general? no worries if not i was just curious
I absolutely would! I haven't watched season 2 of arcane yet so I gotta see if the bug gets me when I do, but I loved the ship season 1 and if I enjoy season 2 they'll definitely be more from me, so stay tuned <3
#i gotta see how it treats me#i'm FINALLY back home from my husband and I having to softly flee our apartment#We were Having Some Issues but#I might be able to do requests again at some point! stay tuned!#casper's haunted info tag
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